“My cat made me late.”

“My cat made me late.”

WRAL claims a Spartanburg, South Carolina porch pirate recently stole a package from a home. The homeowner received a notification that her FedEx package had arrived. When she went to retrieve the package, it was gone. The package contained nine tarantulas. They are still missing. Don’t ya wanna be there when the thief opens THAT package?

From the “dog ate my homework” file…a woman in Brazil kept waking up late for work, despite setting an alarm. One night she decided to set up a camera to see what was causing her issue, and she caught her cat, Joaquim, pawing the phone’s screen and turning off the alarm as soon as it begins to sound.

And finally,

The Union Leader says the Manchester, New Hampshire police are looking for a shoplifter, who recently stuffed a ukulele down the front of his shorts before running out of a local Guitar Center. Cops posted surveillance pictures of the man in hopes someone will identify him. He stole a vintage ukulele. (My guess, he’s probably NOT part of a heavy metal band.)